Feeling

May 24, 2007

So much runs through my mind as I lay and try to sleep. I feel depressed, the definition of depression sits on my shoulders tonight. All day I attempted to find something to cheer myself up: Spending alone time, trying to hang out with friends, attempting to talk to people, sleeping, trying things that normally help me feel better. Nothing worked. I try to figure out what brings this on and yet I cannot. I dont feel I have anything to be upset about at this time, and yet I still feel sad. It hurts me to feel this way and all I want to do is be better. I think sometimes that I still need more treatment. I feel as though I need to be around people as to not hurt myself. Yet I cant be in treatment because I have to work and so much is going on. I need time away. I want to go home for a couple days and see my family. I've worked every weekend since probably March and I'm getting burned out. I work all the time but I cant save enough money to help myself no matter what I do. I check my bank account all the time in hopes that I havent overdrawn, yet again. So many thoughts run through my head and yet I dont know what to do about them.